Navigating the Dynamics of Boys' Clubs: What Women Need to Know

The higher (young) professionals rise in an organization the lesser female leaders are present and the more male dominated leadership teams are the reality: in my own experience some of these male leaders (the „boys“) often have been growing together within the same organization, frequently were buddies for a very long time, were even spending time together outside the office, were smirking about the same silly jokes, were bitching about the same people, etc. – these boys tend to (virtually) establish „clubs“ which have their own dynamic and follow their own rules.

Not only for female leaders these dynamics and rules are hard to read, harder to understand and almost impossible to get into: These impossibilities do apply for ALL people from outside regardless of their gender and – needless to say – regardless of joining the organization as a new hire from outside or progressing in-house. These clubs occur on same levels, sometimes across a few hierarchies, sometimes even encompass one, two people from outside the organization. They do have their own rules which are hard to learn and from my perspective it is pointless to even try to get behind the scenes of these clubs: based on my negative experience there is no chance whatsoever to figure out the mechanics and the rules of the game in most instances on the basis of which a personal immediate reaction or midterm tactics could be developed.

Much more important form my perspective is to be fully aware of these clubs, to acknowledge their existence explicitly, to deliberately refer to the strong relationships amongst these male leaders regularly and preferably publicly and by doing so dismantling these structures and de-masking them in a friendly, playful and authentic manner. Often naming the obvious is clearing the situation for the better.      

Based on my own experience, I would not recommend at all to try to become part of it – even me as a male coming from outside have regularly failed utterly to understand or even become part of old longstanding boys‘ clubs which sometimes was not helpful for my career at all. However, being aware of their existence is absolutely critical, raising awareness within the organization is definitely helpful (while naming their existence vocally might be challenging).

Ultimately, consolidating people outside these clubs is absolutely critical to get on with them as a matter of fact: coalitions are not only comforting and consoling but also strengthening one’s own standing and much more effective from a leadership and business perspective; joining forces is much more effective than frustratedly trying to ignore the clubs or trying to navigate around them desperately.